erasing
sharpening
[brewer] the free eye clinic final
10 years ago
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1 comment:
i prefer the beginning of older storyboard #2 where the type starts the piece because it gets the pencil idea going but doesn't give away the banana pencil idea until later on. i think it's more interesting to save that "punchline" for later, rather than give it away right up front like you are currently doing in your most recent storyboard.
i like how in the most recent idea you are integrating the type with the monkey drawing and the desktop. it unifies the space and the movie pretty well. but i also like being able to focus on just the type when it's happening. can you pan or zoom from the monkey to just the type, so the monkey gets cropped out, and then you do a very quick zoom out to that over-the-shoulder shot? could be interesting.
the looping idea is pretty nice also. overall you've made good editing and transition choices here. the story is flowing pretty nicely.
regarding the kinetic type parts:
i'm glad to see these still studies so i have something to respond to. good tests.
it's nice to see the indexical sign for "sharpening". that is a pretty clever idea -- requiring closure, right? way to utilize the mccloud reading! (whether intentional or not...)
the erasing letterforms seem a bit elementary or arbitrary. is there any particular way those letters should look when they are erased? can they reference something inside your film? the drawing skill of a monkey? who knows...
same comment for the scribbley type. should it be more scribbley? more aggressive? more fluid? playful marks? also, if you're "sketching" as your verb, keep in mind how you might sketch. do you always work on a drawing from left to right? how could you build up more suspense in the way those letters come in, and not give away the word right after two or three letters? i think the key there is to remember how you were taught to produce a drawing.
hopefully that gives you plenty to think about.
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